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Eurovision 2010: Switzerland

January 10, 2010

On a first listen there’s not that much wrong with Switzerland’s contribution to this year’s Eurovision canon.

The song trips along nicely. There’s no vomit-inducing key change. It’s toe-tappingly satisfying too.

Most importantly, by the time singer Michael von der Heide concludes the song, there’s a feeling of satisfaction mixed with relief when pleas for relative plausibility and integrity have been granted. Some of us don’t need muscle-boys prancing around on stage, pumping, grinding and screaming in order to sell us a song, you see.

There’s a problem however.

Two minutes in to the three minute contribution and there’s little more this song can offer. The song is as simple as it is inoffensive and yet by 1’56” we’ve heard enough to make up our minds.

What this inevitably means is that we can expect a great deal more attention paid on the stage presentation in time for the semi-final appearance Michael will be called upon to give.

And that presentation won’t just be about pulling Switzerland out of the Eurovision doldroms but will necessarily highlight the deep-seated insecurities nearly all entertainment TV producers have which prompt them to throw as much as they possibly can on a stage for fear the TV audience might suddenly lose interest and abandon the entire programme completely.

That’s why this act will almost certainly see the introduction of a bewildering and inexplicable selection of costumes accompanied by weird and wonderful dance routines. They’ll feel like they need to tart it up somehow or other. They’re sure to throw in some pyrotechnics too – just because they can. At least, that’s what I’m reckoning. I could of course be totally wrong. It’s not like it hasn’t happened before.

There may be a few simpler steps to take before the Swiss get to that stage however. Michael want to spend some time trying out different hairstyles if only to play down two key elements which are – I’m afraid to say – somewhat upstaging him in the video whenever the camera lingers on a head and shoulders shot.

He might also want to start getting used to the jokes surrounding the song title’s translation.

“”Il pleut de l’or” roughly translates as “It’s raining gold”. This in turn could be rephrased as “Golden Rain” which in turns seems worryingly reminiscent of “Golden Shower”. I’m sure there’ll be plenty of scriptwriters only too willing to resort to that gag come the night of the semi-final.

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One Comment
  1. cyberguycalif permalink

    Jon could those two key elements upstaging him be those Dumbo size ears? Hair, ears, and movement style need a make over.

    I don’t think to many people would turn “It’s raining gold”, to ‘golden showers’ except maybe those who would know what that means and/or have rubber sheets on their bed.

    Not being up on Eurovision in the states except for hearing you talk about it over the years, I take it by this post that he is the one that will represent Switzerland. A bigger and better stage production of the song would be needed. The three girls in back didn’t seem to have their movements down (from what we could see) and a little more ‘flashy’ production could help and help get peoples eyes away from those big old ears.

    David

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